Thursday, October 27, 2005
Why does it always have to be at a time of emergency? Things always happens when it's a time for me to conentrate on my study. Studying History is not enough. The same old problems will arise eventually again. So what is the point to study history when mistakes DO repeat itself? Time and again, I'm tired of everything. Tired of bothering, tired of speaking, tired of living. I felt like dying. For real. Why should i even bother speaking when they don't listen? Why should i worry when they did nothing? Why should i care when they don't even know my existence? I never wanted this. Never. But do i have a choice? No. I wasn't given one. Here's something to think about. Will a person actually say, for example, " Yes, I'm not alright. I'm upset." when they are asked if they are alright? This is psychology. People often got misled by what a person says but not putting themselves into that person's shoe and feel what he/she is feeling at that moment. This has always been a person's perspective.Next, is it really funny to tease a person? Again, a person's perspective. In the perspective of a person teasing, he/she will think it is fun and this act is often done with a friend. They would tend to laugh at people. There are some points people would tend to laugh at more often. Here are some.
1) Size of a person
2) Height of a person
3) Action of a person
4) Appearance of a person
5) Characteristic of a person (not that much though)
I admit that it is some sort of self entertainment to laugh at people, but have we really thought about how others will feel? In the perspective of the "victim", he/she will feel hurt, upset and curious about what people will say about them. Worst scenario, they know they are talking about them but don't know the content of it. As time pass by, the "victim" will tend to have thousands of scars, all heavily carved onto his/her heart. Leaving him/her with low confidence and pain, not willing to speak up in the future, not willing to be seen. Is this what we call fun? Is this really entertainment? As i thought over it, it's kind of sadistic don't you think? Laughing at a person's pain.
The problem still lies with us. Is there no other form of entertainment that would interest us as much as how teasing people would interest us? I have no time for all these talks and stuff. My time is up and O levels draws near, day by day, hour by hour. I've wasted enough time in my life and i'm not going to waste one more year repeating what i've done this year. I won't and i don't want to. I hope that my english is ok in this entry. I have to work on my english before it is too late to regret. Before i fail my O level. "Work towards my goal." Will it really work? Have i really put in enough effort? I doubt so. i read through one of my testimonials and came across one phrase by my friend. " Study hard and study smart." I did study hard but did any of the infomation go into the empty space in my head that we call brain? I have no intention in letting history repeat itself (my geography). However, the question is, will it repeat? I can't alter fate but i definitely can stop this part of history from repeating itself. Alright. I think that is enough blogging for today. Alot of things have been disturbing me from my concentration. Too much. I have to settle them one by one, by myself, for it is only me who can solve this mental obstacle in me myself. Thanks for reading my blog, and thanks alot for listening. Bye and good luck for everything. Especially to all O level takers. [For darrell, good luck in your packing. =X]
posted @ 12:39 PM