Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I don't know how to start off but here i am blogging in class. Lecturer left with our test papers. The test that most of us cheated and the teacher does not give a dam about it. The guy beside me, L, is occasionally helpful. Sometimes i just wanna slap him in the face. He completed 5 parts of the tutorial that we are supposed to do and i merely asked him about one of the question in part 3, he simply said "This one i don't know". Alright how the hell did you finish off those parts in front then? I really don't like this feeling. Helpless and dependent. I want to be smart. I want to do well. I want to know what im doing instead of pleading others for help. The feeling of emptiness and rejection. The urge to be alone yet don't wanna be alone. I'm in a mixed feeling now. What am i suppose to feel? What am i feeling now? I hate everyone. I hate myself. Life is so cold. When my friends are having fun now, i'm being depressed over somethings i don't even know what is. I wanna tell you but you are just too nonchalent and you won't care. So what is the point? I really have no way out now. The cough you gave me is so very irritating. Yet you don't even care. Why should i be in here. Why should i be caring for people who doesn't care at all. WHY tell me. WHY. Please. i need someone to tell me the solution desperately. I really really hope for someone who can really understand me. Who can? No one can. My mind is just constantly thinking of things that even i can't handle it. Why am i always caring for people who doesn't deserve any and ignored those who cared so much? Am i insane? I felt like crying. Cry it all out. Shout out loud. Let myself go. Save me. Anyone.In the world of lights,
Darkness sets into me.
Taking me down from the flight,
A great big fall.
Hurt and despair,
I shouted.
I cried.
In the long deserted corner,
Left to die.
posted @ 3:48 PM